If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
