He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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