What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
