that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
worst night to have a conscience
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
