I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
