At least make sure they are 18
Why
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i now understand why vodka
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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