Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
