Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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