Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
