dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You are a genius and a whore.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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