Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
