You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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