your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
