They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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