well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
