is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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