Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
