Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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