my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize