the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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