"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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