Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
