before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have tasted many bathrooms
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
