she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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