Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
