I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
