i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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