just tell him i said nine months
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
