its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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