Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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