what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
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I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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