hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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