so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She even gives head with a lisp.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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