fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
