Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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