I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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