the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
