he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
