I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
