At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
