god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
