I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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