Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize