his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
