I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
