Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
