I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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