were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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