Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
