it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
