Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
