The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
