He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
