Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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