Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
