Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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