Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
