We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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