yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
