there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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