Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I am mentally ready for anal.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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