he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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