they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
