Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
