been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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